I'm still here!

Yes, hard to believe, isn't it?

My hubby and I just got back from a week-long trip to Iowa to visit my family. I brought my computer along with the intent to blog, but it just never happened. We were busy from sun-up to sun-down! No, actually, we really just relaxed and took it slow. It was lovely.

The weather back here in TX is much warmer than in Iowa... no snow here! We are just enjoying getting back into the groove of things... and I reeeaaallly need to go grocery shopping. (Don't you just hate having to go get groceries immediately after a trip? We're usually lazy about it and just eat junk for a few days because there is nothing fresh in the house... bad but true.)

Anyway, I just wanted to re-surface here again, since it's been like 2 weeks. Yikes. I've been reading a lot about being sure to include pictures of yourself on your blog (here), so please enjoy this picture of me in all my wintertime glory.

Can you believe tomorrow is February?! I can't!

week 14

this gorgeous place is partially responsible for my absence.  i was here.  picture stolen from a friend, steph dorsey.  it was gorgeous and warm and just so nice to feel the sun.  i was a horrible photographer [as usual] so the only photos i got were from the plane. go figure.  i'll come back to that soon though.  it was incredibly fun but i do feel like i've been learning things too.  very sweet & encouraging time with the Lord.  i want to remember that.

now on to the littlest brzinski...
what's cooking? [new baby things]: babeinski can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb.  babe is getting covered in thin tiny hair to keep it warm until it fattens up.  i also think that its little skeletal system is working in there.  babe is 3.5" - 4" long & is about the size of a lemon, clinched fist or flip phone [closed, unless you have a zoolander phone].

gender: only 9 days until we find out.  i could ralph i'm so excited!  a lot of people have asked if we'll keep the gender or name a secret until the baby comes.  we're thinking no for both.  i think our 3 month secret and the surprise of the baby being out in the world will be good enough for me!

movement: all the sites say that itty bitty is swimming all over the place and is much more graceful than its former 'jerky' self.

momma developments: feeling fantastic.  still a little bit tired.  i've been taking naps when i can [as all the literature suggests, and who rebel against that?].  still have nosebleeds but that's about all.

total weight gain: 3.5-5 pounds [depending on when you weigh me]

maternity clothes: still not yet. but i sometimes have to adjust my pants around my belly when i'm sitting. i looked at maternity clothes at target last week [normally inexpensive & cute] but was sorely disappointed.  i hope i just went on a bad day.

cravings: still no "got have a _____ or else!" moments.  i get hungry more often so i've been trying to keep snacks handy.

anything hard?
understanding how insurance works.  i don't know if i'm dumb or if its just really complicated.  we're looking forward to having it all straightened out & being able to really anticipate the total costs and how to plan / budget. 

ben & i have both been really busy and that's rough.  we have lots of-out-town trips coming up & plans all over the calendar.  i'm hoping to find a good balance between work, ministry, friends, family, school, planning, learning, resting & playing - and find it soon.

feeling really out of control when it comes to the babe and its development.  it's just a really strange feeling that it is impossible to check up on how they are doing in there.  i have to wait weeks in between doctor's appointments and months in between ultrasounds so basically its all a mystery from there.  i hadn't ever thought about that before being pregnant.  if the babe was out of the womb i'd never go 5 weeks without know it's ok, so its just kind of bizarre that that's the reality for now.

never forget: this week i got to hear the baby's heartbeat again.  i thought that the nurse was just picking up mine and got scared that she couldn't find the baby's.  then after i counted my own pulse, which was about 70 beats/min, i concluded the educated professional did actually know what she was doing when she said that the 179 beats/min weren't mine.

i got to see all kinds of friends at the yl all staff conference [photo above] for the first time since we've been pregnant.  friends from all over the country that we rarely see but truly love.  that was a blessing & so fun to celebrate with them.

baby info sources:
baby center
parents connect
baby zone

what's on L's phone?!

they came. and JJ visibly cringed when i clunked around the house in them. and the thing is, they really are so comfortable. my fear now is that i will fall in love with them.


sailboats are pretty.


i hate hate HATE the ice cold floors on my toes while i'm fumbling for my slippers when i get out of bed to pee at 3 am. so i bought this tiny heart rug at target for $2.50 and my problem is solved!

22 weeks. i look quite puffy. 

i mean, how is that even comfortable? 

 these are all the ikea armoire pieces. for realz. SO MANY PIECES. i unwrapped them all and got anxiety. and how annoying are ikea directions sans words? you just have to look at the pics and hope you're right.

 i screwed exactly 3 screws. it warranted documentation.

the finished product! it's so huge and lovely and holds (almost) all of my clothes! 


so i've definitely been off the radar for a while, minus a few random baby posts sprinkled throughout.  i'm hoping to change that real soon.  free time is just a hot commodity and it's hard to figure out what to do [and when!] for me.  but i just wanted to stop by and say come back tonight because i will be updating yet again and hopefully this week will be full of fun things around the ol' blog.

until then...things that make me melt...itty bitty, teeny tiny shoes

I am a quilter

but a dressmaker as well.  I use to make every scrap of clothes for my family, including undies!  Since I started serious quilting, I have hardly made a scrap of clothing, and almost forgot some of the basics.

I had an idea about making a shirt of patchwork fabrics, and teamed up 5 different prints from Moda.  The fabric is beautiful to work with, and it drapes really nicely.

It is not totally finished yet.  I need to sew down the collar stand, and work on the button holes.  In the past I have made button holes manually on my old Bernina machine.  I have not done any serious dressmaking since I have had the new Bernina 230.  According to the instruction book there are about 3 different ways to do them, and there is a fancy attachment as well.  I will have to do lots of practice I think to see how it all works.

Bright, isn't it?  You will see me coming in it.  I just chose fabrics I liked, not bothering about where they would be placed.  Nearly forgot - there is a pocket to go on LHS as well, so that might break it up a bit.

favorite things

jeans: F21, top: Nordstrom Rack, leather jacket: Hollister, booties: Target

that little hut in the background to the left is my neighbor's chicken coop. i feel bad for those chickens. they must be cold. oh and please don't worry, i'm making a hair appointment ASAP for those dastardly inappropriate roots.

this weekend i participated in a photoshoot with my pal Sand. she's starting her own business and is wanting to build her portfolio. it was fun, and she is very talented. can't wait to see all the results! i met up with the Fab5 for dinner and a sleepover at Sam's, and JimmyFrank was being a somersaulting fish, so they all got to feel It moving around. they also all got to smell the eye-watering, nosehair-burning pregnancy farts. and on sunday, JJ and i ate sandwiches and watched the badass girls of the winter X games. could have been me if my snowboard hadn't gotten stolen back in '02.

last night i had a dream the baby was a girl. it goes back in forth in my dreams. sometimes it's a boy, sometimes a girl, sometimes an alien. i'm so excited to see what JF will really be (preferably not the latter). anyway, in my dream i was in target and a greasy man walked up to me, punched me in the face, and stole the baby AND my Louis bag (which had Cleo in it). what a travesty right?! and no one would help me. it was a terrible nightmare. is that a subtle message that my top three favorite things in life are the baby, Cleo and Louis?

and actually add JJ to that list of favorite things in life. because i don't know if this is a pregnant thing or not, but lately it has been really really hard for me to be away from JJ. like it's weird how much i just want to be around him at all times. i mean i generally like being around him normally, but i also enjoy my own space. lately i'm extremely clingy and needy but not in a high maintenance kind of way (JJ may disagree about that high maintenance part, plz don't ask him), i just need him to be in my peripheral vision at all times. especially at 4 a.m. when i'm awake and dinging around on my pad reading and making endless to do lists. (i call my iPad my pad. was that confusing? did you like think i was talking about a maxi pad?) when i was up in the middle of the night at Sam's house, JJ's wheezy snoring was absent in the background and it really freaked me out. and when we are sitting on the couch or laying in bed, i have to have a piece of me touching him (i.e. my cold toe on his arm, my elbow in his rib, my hand on his buttock, etc). i mean, wtf?! right?! i just can't figure this out. 

Winter Weather in Holland

Today we have very cold weather here in Holland,
 a few degrees below zero and it is predicted that it 
will stay for a while. 

My Mum's two dogs have never seen snow.
They are rescued dogs from Guyana and were
 surprised this morning with a bit of snow. 

I hope you have a lovely week.

How to have the courage to dress Goth.

Found via Gothbeauty on Tumblr.
Many Goths that are new to the subculture worry about being judged and insulted in public, simply because of what they're wearing. Sadly this does happen but I've learnt to deal with it, I understand how upsetting it can be. For those of you who struggle to wear gothic clothes in public I hope this post helps build your confidence.

Try dressing gothic for the first time at a Goth specific event, like a Goth night at your nearest club or Whitby Goth Weekend. You might even feel a little underdressed! If you can't go to a club because you're under age or there's no events near you try seeking out Goths in your area, being surrounded by like minded people will help. The older Goths probably won't react to insults and you'll blend into the group, which means you probably won't get any personal insults. If you don't have any Goths in your area you should at least walking outside with a confident friend, they'll distract you and cheer you up if anything does happen.

However you'll have to wear gothic clothes outside on your own at some point, I promise it's not that scary! You could dress casually first and build your way up, sometimes when I think I'm dressing casual I'm still different to everyone else. You won't even notice after a while but I know that doesn't help at the moment. Listening to music really helps me daydream and ignore anything happening around me, alternatively you could do an activity that also distracts you. For example you could knit whilst on the bus so you don't see any stares or odd looks.

Before you leave the house you should give yourself a pep talk, get yourself into a mindset of which you don't care what people think. Come on, who cares about that random teenager you'll never see again? Please be prepared for anything that may or may not happen, people staring and making remarks is something you have to come to terms with. If you don't think you can then perhaps this fashion is not for you, but at least give it a chance before making a decision.

I understand that for some people it's no big deal but for others it really is, I used to be very shy and I found it difficult to dress different in public. However I'm no longer afraid of what people may think, I'm still shy but I've got no problem dealing with any issues it may bring up. Here are some further posts on the subject you may find useful:

  • Another stereotype, another day. My part rant part post about people making assumptions based on what I wear.
  • Coming out the Goth wardrobe. A post about how to slowly introduce Goth to difficult parents.
  • The Dealing with Pest series is all about negative reactions and what to do if you find yourself in one, this first part is about the people you'll typically have to deal with.
  • The second part of Dealing with Pests is about the type of questions you'll receive and how you should reply.
  • Dealing with Pests part 3 is all about being in an unpleasant situation such as being attacked or having a drink thrown at you. Also includes self defense advise and a few sneaky tricks.
  • The final part of Dealing with Pests concludes with me sharing my worst reactions and others share their own experiments.
  • It's also worth clicking the Fashion and Info tabs for more related subjects.

If any of you are having a bad day or someone has said something that really upset you feel free to comment and offload to me, I promise to make you feel better. Ooh look another cat gif!

Found on cutecatgifs via Tumblr. I love how the dog just accepts it.


Que me gustan los chales no es una novedad. Ya ni sé el número de ellos que he tejido. Hay algunos que me han gustado más, otros los he disfrutado un poco menos. Lo que sí puedo decir es que en el Flukra he disfrutado todo. 

Para empezar me gusta el nombre. Para una persona amante de las lenguas, utilizar un dialecto  cercano al inglés es ya algo a tener en cuenta. 

El patrón es muy interesante. Con un montaje de puntos diferente a todo lo que había hecho hasta ahora. Una construcción muy particular, empezando casi por el medio del patrón, y un calado conseguido no sólo al tejer las vueltas del derecho, sino también por las vueltas del revés. Simplemente ideal para mantener una atención constante. Y al contrario de lo que parece, no es difícil. Una vez que captas cómo va el dibujo casi se puede hacer sin mirar el patrón.  

Sigo rebajando el stash y he utilizado una vez más lana de handpaintedyarn que tenía por casa. Y es curioso, porque la he disfrutado mucho. Pensé que estaría harta de tejer tanto con ella, pero esta vez me ha gustado. El color me encanta, y no sé muy bien por qué me ha resultado más suave que otras veces. Además ha bloqueado mejor (aunque supongo que haber metido agujas más grande habrá tenido algo que ver).

Las fotos, en un sitio incomparable. Disfrutando de la naturaleza, de la cultura y de los rincones desconocidos de España, que a veces parece que es una gran desconocida. 

i heart

i heart my hubby tee: Ross

i bought this t-shirt on a whim one day while i was recklessly tossing things in my cart at Ross. i tend to do that. like i get to the checkout and look down and i'm like "what? did i really put a 4-pack of chip clips, a turkey thermometer and a fish-shaped candlestick holder in my cart?" Ross is sneaky like that. anyway, i like to throw on this t-shirt every once in a while to surprise JJ. he gets especially giddy when i wear it. only if he starts to annoy me while i'm wearing it, i threaten to take it off. 

did i tell you that the baby is in the 70th percentile?! i mean i'm growing a BEAST in there. which frightens me and my tiny hole. might have something to do with the way i've been demolishing the little debbie valentine heart cakes. they're going straight to the baby. 

i pee a lot lately. like a lot a lot. and i realized the other day that we go through a 12-roll of toilet paper every two weeks. i mean WHOA L. and i'm not even an excessive toilet paper user. i take what i need, no more, no less. also i learned the hard way that i have to have something substantial in my stomach (i.e. a mini babybell cheese wheel, an orange AND a granola bar) before i take my new prenatal vitamins. and a blue sprinkle krispy kreme doughnut is NOT substantial enough. it's real gross coming back up and out the nose.

well everyone, i did it. i ordered the Dansksos. they're on their way to me now (hanging head in shame) and last night i had a dream that when the Zappos box came, instead of ugly Danskos, a beautiful pair of Frye boots were staring back at me. you can imagine my disappointment when i woke up. 

the sun is actually out today in Seattle, so i'm off to take Cleo to the beach!

Boots and Fur

One of my favourite things about blogging is seeing others style up the same items that you own. I think it's so fun to see what ideas other bloggers have for styling their wardrobe and it's a great way to gain inspiration from your own closet. I have noticed a few other Canadian bloggers who have the same Joe Fresh booties and faux fur that I have. Here are some photos of Kristin of Doll Parade and Kassandra of Kastles wearing their Joe Fresh booties and faux fur.

And here are a couple of outfit where I wore the faux fur and booties. 

See my original posts HERE and HERE


turtleneck: Gap, skirt: Urban, heels: Target, headband: Ross

my Mother just left. and i didn't even cry this time. but i almost did. yesterday was a crazy nutty day that needed to end with a stiff drink, so i got to have a bottle of water instead. it started with my doctor appointment...

and then we went to ikea to get a big huge beautiful 20000000+ piece armoire for all of my clothes that we built all by ourselves with our BARE HANDS. and then we went out to dinner with JJ and today we switched mine and JJ's room with the baby's (we accidentally gave ourselves the smaller room. idiots) and it looks quite fabulous. my Mom and i are so successful when she's here. we just get shit done and it's awesome. plus we have fun together and i hateeee it when she has to leaveeeee me.

but anyway. ok so back to the doctor appointment. i went for a check-up and my Momz met me there and got to meet the doctor. i told the doctor that i've been having problems with an achy back. the doctor looked right at my pink rainboots and raised her eyebrows and she said, "what shoes besides these pink rainboots have you been wearing?" and i said "uggs mostly" and this is what she said to me: "you should really be wearing more supportive shoes." i said, "oh, okay. like tennis shoes?" she said, "yes, a brand new pair, or if you are willing to spend a little more, Danksos would be the best and most supportive shoes for your back."




vomit again

DANKSOS?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! DANSK-NO! i looked at my Mom (wearing a pair of Disgusting Danksos herself), and she started laughing. i was like "oh. okay. thanks." i am NOT a Dankso-wearing type of girl. i have made fun of the hideous, dull, club-like shoes since the first time i ever saw them. no no no no no no no no NO NO ONE MILLION TIMES NO.

but then i got to thinking. my back hurts constantly. like all the time. like wake up in the middle of the night and moan and roll around and kindly yell to JJ to plug in my heating pad. and i'm not even in the third trimester yet. so i have more backaches to look forward to. so. SO. you guys. i'm committing the biggest fashion faux pas since jeans without back pockets. i'm going to get. a. pair. of. Danksos. (when she finally stopped laughing, my lovely generous and thoughtful Mom offered to buy me a pair of the Disgusting Danskos). BUT SRSLY YOU GUYS DON'T JUDGE ME PLEASE! i promise to always wear dark glasses and a hood whilst wearing them in public and i promise NEVER to wear them in any outfit pictures.

OMG i just cannot believe i'm getting a pair of these shoes. the next thing you know i'll be wearing Lee jeans and driving a minivan.

Rain, rain and more Rain

These long gloves are made of soft leather,
I found them in a little antique shop in Holland
where I am at the moment visiting my parents.

They are too small for my hands,
what a pity, now I don't have anything to go with my tiara...

Here are a few pictures at the seaside,
it has been raining for the last few days,
but I am not complaining yet....

I hope you have a lovely week.


leggings, Old Navy, tee/belt: Target, jacket/hat: Urbs, sunglasses: Betsey, boots: Lucky Brand

tra la laaaaaaaa my Momz is on her way here as we speak! she's coming to my doctor appointment with me today and then we are going to lunch and ikea. and i'm so excited!! 

ohmygodddd my back aches. achessss. and my hips. like i'm a creaky old woman. and i can't take tylenol because i just throw it up. so JJ got me a heating pad which is my new best friend except that it automatically shuts off when it gets too hot so as not to start anything on fire. so when i notice it's cold, i have to turn it off and turn it back on again. tres inconvenient. in other news, my bellybutton keeps changing shape. now it's almost popped out. it's on the verge. and then it will look like i have a blueberry under my shirt. of all the pregnancy things, JJ is most weirded out by my bellybutton. really? honestly, like that is the grossest thing about pregnancy to you JJ??

HOW BADLY do you want to punch Courtney from the Bachelor in the face?! srsly. 

ok i g2g clean before my Momz gets here so she doesn't judge me. it's her first time seeing the new house all decorated, and i don't want dirty floors to spoil the unveiling.

what's on L's phone?!

 brunching. JimmyFrank is quite prominent in this one. 

view from the Space Needle

i found these white winter berries on a walk with Cleo and found myself weirdly yearning to shove them all in my mouth. wtf? they're probs poison, but they look so foreign and irresistibly delicious.

every year around Valentine's Day i get a hankering for these perfectly crafted heart cakes. they are SO good. and SO bad for you. so JJ and i shared one pack instead of eating two each. oooooh WHO am i kidding?! i'll probs eat like 3 packs of them today.

top of the Needle. JJ's bed head. hahahahhahaaa

JJ went out to buy me a heating pad for my achy back and picked up some super-sale candy canes. he said, "forty-two cents, how could i lose?!" 

the new rug. ooooooh the new rug! it's perfection. and Cleo matches it perfectly. 

hahahah that's my friend The Black Dahlia. JJ and i were watching the Gonzaga game on TV and a commercial came on showing old footage of student fans. i was like "OMG IS THAT D?!?!" so we rewound the TV and there she is, front and center, celebrating the Zags on November 11, 2007. oh, college. 

Cleo just being cuteeee with her long dog toy.

last week's wintery walk.

JJ wearing my hat and looking thrilled.